Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Maybe the best photo of anything I've ever knitted

Nothing I can say will add to the greatness of this.  Except, thank you Greg and Margaret for providing Squid with such a gorgeous model.

Sweaters to put on pets!

Hey!  Long time, no blog.  I know, I know.  Believe it or not, I have a life outside of this knitting blog (which mostly consists of knitting....).

Here's some more photos of clothes!  But this time it's for PETS!  Hooray!

Below is a photo of my cat, The Wizard.  He is modeling a sweater that we made for our friend Lola.  I feel bad for how humiliated The Wizard looked wearing a girl's sweater.  ....What?

Below is a photo of Lola and her mommy Melissa.  Thankfully, the sweater suits Lola much better than it does The Wizard.

This little lady below is named Mabel, and she is a teensy little Morkie who lives in Brooklyn.  Ooh, I want to eat her.  Except for the fact that whenever someone comes in the front door, Mabel gets so excited that she pees everywhere.  I don't want to eat a peeing dog.  I'm not crazy after all.

And just for fun - even though it's not knitted, it's still crafted - here's another photo of The Wizard modeling clothes for someone else.  This time it's a onesie that I painted for my very dear friend Lisa's baby shower.  I think The Wizard does not enjoy being treated like a baby, as he is a full grown man.  Well, when he starts paying some bills he can have some say in what he does and doesn't have to wear.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Stuff To Cover Your Body.

You don't want to be naked, right?  Okay, I mean, imagine it's not swelteringly, brain-meltingly hot outside.  You don't want to be naked, then, right?
Here is a sampling of some of the knitted things I've made for you to stuff your various body parts into.

Knitted cowls!  They are like scarves that don't unravel, or leg warmers for your neck.  Since I started knitting these, I've no longer got any use for regular scarves.

Modeled by the lovely Ashley, my adorbo husbatron, and me and my husbatron.  (B.T.Dubs....he's the one with the mustache.  I'm the one with the glasses.)

Sure, I make hats for grownups, too, but seriously, who wants to look at adults in hats when you can look at BABIES IN HATS?  Right?  Goddamn right.

Tots featured, from left to right, top to bottom, are:  Max, Clari, Clari (again, this time in a mohawk hat), Claire, Evelyn, Grant and Kyus.  And I want to eat every last one of them. 

Wristbandzzzz.  Strawberry, Sunshine, Goldfish, Lips.  You know, whatever.

Thanks to lovely Donna for being a model with attitude. 

And now, parlaying into....

Armwarmers and a wristband/headband set.

The blue sparkly fingerless gloves above went to live with my magnificent friend Gare.

My husbo models armwarmers I made for cold bike-riding days.

And finally, my pal Timmy displays his enthusiasm for his USA themed wristband/headband set.


Two shots of honeycomb pattern scarves I did for two lovely ladies:  Maryann and Kelly.

Socks!  Here's my confession:  I'm a sock-whore.  I love socks, I can't get enough socks (although my sock drawers seem to think otherwise).

Above are just a couple of socks I've done.  And I've done PLENTY.

On the left are socks I made for hubbo.  On the right are a pair of socks I made for my uber-talented, super-awesome cousin Sara.  She happens to be a spectacular artist and human being, in case you're curious.

Felted boots!  Aw, hell yeah.  One of my most prized knitted possessions.  They are toasty warm and totally amazerrific.

Finger puppets!!!!  These were made as an inside joke during rehearsals for a play.  There's a horse named Bessie, Mamie Cartwright (the prettiest girl in town, at one time), and Louise.

Fun fact:  The fingers these puppets are resting on belong to a MacArthur Genius Grant winnner.  Shazam!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Knitted Animals All Over Your Face

Like I said before, I am an animal lover.  In fact, I don't trust people who aren't.  Allergies aside, there's no reason not to be, is there?  Besides being a jerkwad, that is.

Here is a collection of my favorite knitted animal creations.  And these are totally hypoallergenic, so if you don't like them.....well, there's only one reason left.  Right?

Knitted rooster.  Oh holy hell, I love this little feller so much.  The pattern that I was following led me to believe that he would stand upright, but due to some unknown happy accident, my rooster tilts his head coyly to the left.  I could never have planned for this guy to have as much sweet attitude as he has.  And as a bonus, he will never wake anyone up at dawn.

Above are two more of my beloved squids.  On the left is a squid right after felting.  He's copping a squat on top of a shampoo bottle drying out before getting stuffed.  This guy lives in Williamsburg amongst the hipsters now.  I don't know what his name is.

On the right is another squid-man hanging out on my stove.  His name is Squiddy and he lives in Manhattan with an awesome little lady named Alice.

Snail is one of my favorite knit projects.  Maybe one of my favorite animals.  It's the invertebrate equivalent to hitting the open road for a life spent in an RV, no?  Keep on truckin', little brother.  Which reminds me....

...above are a couple of not so great photos of a couple of hermit crabs I did.  Hermit crabs are another favorite, b.t.dubs.

These two crabs went to live with my two very favorite gentlemen with the initials J.B.  What a coincidence.

This is a tiny bear I made for a little lady in Portland.  He is a sweet little guy whose name was Henri when he left me.

GIANT ANT!  AAAGGH!  This enormous creeper has pipe cleaners in his legs for maximum posability.  He's gross and (barely but just) adorbs.

He moved away to be with my sweet friend Jeremy.  Hopefully his not the kind of ant who bites, but I'm not really sure about that.

Goddamnit, I love this biology class frog, and I can't explain why.  Dissecting frogs was the most traumatic and horrifying experience I had in science class.  I can still conjure the sickly sweet formaldehyde smell.

This frog hopped a ride home with my friend Elizabeth, who was perhaps appropriately horrified to receive it.  

Look, I know that dragons are not real animals, but this is my blog and not yours, so I don't want to hear any smack talk.

Why does this thing remind me of Puff The Magic Dragon?  Was Puff green and orange?  Someone tell me because I'm too lazy to look it up.

This fire-breather was given to my SM on the last play I did, and he sat in the booth with her for the rest of our run.  Ostensibly calling the light cues.

Felted king snake!  Dude.  This snake is simultaneously adorbsy and bad ass.  He will hiss all around you, and you will back up and back up until you trip and fall backwards into bed and he will crawl in and snuggle with you.  It's true.
He slithered off to live with my friend Will.  Maybe Will named him.  I don't know.  Maybe I will find out.  I like to think that his name is Rodney.  That's a good snake name, right?

The frog and the hedgehog.  I don't want to brag, but - wait, yes I do, that's exactly what I want to do here - I have this friend who is extremely funny and extremely tall and he is a breakout star on a hilarious new cable sitcom.  

He and his lovely and crazy-cool wife just had twins this year.  So I asked what I could knit for the little babes.

My friend told me, "Well, --- kinda looks like a frog, and --- looks like a hedgehog.  Does that help?"

Yes.  Yes it does.

This tiny kitty is so sweet and perfect I could barf.  I made it for a little ginger-haired girl who shares a love of cats with me.  The tail has wire in it so you can pose it however kitty likes.

This scholarly-looking owl was given to my friend whose nickname is Science.  How perfect is that?  Hella perfect, that's how.

This penguin makes me want to punch and kick and gnash my teeth.  Nothing should be allowed to be as cute as this fricking thing.  Holy hell.

His eyes are grommet rings.  He has a little potbelly.  

Thank Intelligent Design that it got the hell out of my apartment and went to live with my young friend Gramps, or I would've had to swallow it whole like a fish.

Knitted Sock Monkey lounging on the couch and hogging the remote.  (Special cameo appearance by The Wizard's tail.)

The cutest spider I have ever seen.  Or rather, the only spider I care to look at at all.  This spider went to live with Annie Hall's dad, and my good pal, Nathan.

A tiny bee!  Knitted for a sweet little girl whose daddy is an amazing actor and my friend.  I think this bee musta stung me in the heart because every time I like at this photo it gets all itchy and swollen.

Teensy leeetle peeeg that I loff.  LOFF.  All peeenk unt sveeeet unt byoootyfeel.  

Sorry.  That pig makes me talk all funny.

A four part study of the humble squirrel.  Inspired by my gorgeous friend Donna (and her wunderkind son Tennessee) I did a hat and some wristbands with the silhouette of a squirrel.  And of course, a full-fledged, bushy-tailed three-dimensional version of the critter.

All of these goods went to stay with Donna and company.

Thanks to Elizabeth The Rockstar for modeling the wristband.