Friday, January 18, 2013

Idle Hands and The Devil's Playthings (aka, my boobs)

I keep neglecting this blog and then apologizing for doing so.  I gotta figure out how to break that cycle.  Step one is I'm not going to apologize anymore.  I've been busy, get off my back
about it.

Doing what, you ask?  None of your business.  ....Just kidding.  A variety of things including shooting an episode of a tv show, setting up my studio in my home, hanging out with some sweet little kids, auditions, and some scary health stuff.

And I've been knitting the whole time I've been on go.  If you ever happen to run into me on the subway, there's a good chance I'll be knitting.  I knit while I sit on the train, while I stand in a crowded train, and when I am walking on the subway platform.  

You might think I do it to show off what a kick ass knitter I am, but that's actually the opposite of the truth.  It's more of a compulsion, and, in fact, I get really self-conscious about it.  I get squirmy and panicky when people stare at me while I'm knitting in public.  Most times, people are really cool about it, they'll glance, we'll make eye contact, they'll smile, I'll smile and that's that.  But sometimes a person will stare, mouth agape, stare, STARING-stare and I'll make eye contact with them, but it appears as if there's no recognition that I'm also a human being who maybe doesn't want to be stared at by a stranger.

I'm trying really hard to find ways to be cool about it.  Sometimes it's easier than others.  If people ask me questions, I try to be friendly and relaxed with them.  But the silent starers....Oh man, I can't handle it sometimes.

Anyway, moving on.  Here are some new knits.

A spicy tuna sushi set.  My first foray into a spicy mayo swirl.  I like it.

OH!  Also, note the DangerMonkeyKnits! label in the photo.  I FINALLY FOUND MY LABELS!  HOORAY!

An infinity scarf.  Kind of like the cowls I've been making for a few years, but larger and baggier.  The hipsters in the city all seem to be wearing this year, so I took it as a personal challenge to make my own.

Nothing fancy, but I made a knitted hat for my sweetly bald friend David. 

And a cat scratcher for my three puking, howling, freeloading cats.  Because I love them, but they don't deserve expensive gifts.  So, I cut up strips of about four decent sized cardboard boxes that were laying around the house, taped the strips together, and wrapped them into a tight coil.  Bam.  Scratcher for my worthless beasts.

And that's the round up for crafts for the last few weeks.

But in a final, personal note....yeah, "health scare."  Health scare.  I guess.  I'm having one of those.

It's my right tit. Tiptop, as faithful readers of this blog may know him as.  I know that many ladies like to call their boobs, "the girls," but I like to think of mine as two fat, jolly old dudes.  And their names are Big Boy and Tiptop.

About three weeks ago, I felt a new oblong-ish lump, about the size of a pea on the outer side of Tiptop.  I had to wait a few weeks to get it checked out because of holidays and my doctor's office's holiday schedule.

Last week, I went.  The doc felt it, and agreed that we should do some follow up tests.  Now, I should say at this point that my doctor isn't overly concerned about it.  But she wants us to be on the safe side with it.

After a series of misadventures, wherein I showed up to my ultrasound appointment without my proper paperwork and was denied care, I finally got an ultrasound yesterday morning.  And upon review, they deemed it necessary to follow up with yet another test yesterday afternoon.

Look.  I'm not scared.  I'm really, really not feeling scared.  My doctor wasn't nervous, so I don't feel like being worried would accomplish anything.  I'm deciding to wait and see what happens next.

But I've been talking about it seems like nobody talks about this kind of stuff.  And the biggest thing I ever learned from my childhood is that keeping secrets only leads to shame and unwarranted embarrassment.

And I'm not embarrassed.  I have a lump in my tit.  Sometimes tits get lumps.  Check your tits.  Stay healthy and don't be embarrassed about your weird, lumpy body.  We all have weird, lumpy bodies.  Let's stop pretending we don't.

So many of my friends have reached out to send love and positive vibes.  And I really wasn't expecting that, I just wanted to make some jokes about titlumps because that's my way of taking away it's power over me and any fear I could potentially have.  So, I just want to say thanks to all of my beautiful buddies who have reached out and offered kind words.  Tiptop is grateful to know you.


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