Coping with my failures

I believe I've expounded several times in the blog on my love of felting projects.  So it goes without saying I was excited when I found a (very simple) pattern online for a felted bathmat/kitchen mat.

I used some sunny pinks and yellows and oranges and purples.  It knitted up quickly and I could hardly wait to see how it would look in my kitchen.  Below is a pre-felting shot of the rug after I finished knitting it.

The only problem was that I didn't have immediate access to a washer to felt it.  Not usually a problem, I've felted lots of stuff by hand.  Once, when I was working on a show away from home, I felted a project in the hotpot I had set up in my hotel room.  God, I'm such a dork.

Anyway, the trouble is the bigger the project is, the harder it is to felt it by hand.  And this rug was pretty big.  

The thing is, if I would've just been patient I would've had access to a washing machine and it wouldn't have been a problem.  But I am an impatient jerk.  And I get too excited for the finished product - especially the finished felted product.  

I had heard that some people actually prefer to do their felting in a big pot on a stove, but I'd never really had much experience with that.  I just happen to have a giant pot because I like to do canning, as well (of course), so I popped the rug into the pot with some water and set it to boil.

And before long, I realized that the dye had begun to run and leech out of most of the yarns.  What I had hoped and dreamed would be a brightly colored multi-striped mat, turned into a drab, two-tone peach and mauve POS.

And I hate it.  But I'm stubborn and I like to get into fights with inanimate objects.  I enjoy treating mishaps as if they were actually signs that the universe hates me, and therefore I refuse to do the logical thing and throw the POS out and start over.  Because that would be admitting defeat, you see.  And I will not do that.

Maybe I'm Not An Actor Anymore....But I Could Knit You One.

Sometimes I think being an actor was the worst idea I have had.  For example, when I think about the fact that I've done one play in the past five years.  Or when I think of the soul-suckingingly depressing act of having your sense of self-worth filtered through the lens of a bleary-eyed and bored casting director.

Boo-hoo-hoo to me.

Seriously, the less I think about how fucked up and counterproductive the business of being an artist can be, the better I feel - not just about myself but the world.

That being said, if you have a line on an audition you think I'd be right for, let me know.  It's a little like what I imagine a being a crackhead is like.  I'll keep saying I can give it up, but man, oh man, next thing you know I'm sucking a dealer's dick for a role.  I mean a rock.  Either way.  You get the metaphor.

ANYWAYZIES.

My sweet friend Michael asked me if I would be interested in making some dolls for a short play that he's producing for another sweet fella, Jonathan.  And I was all, "Hell yeah, I would."  The only specification was that one of them should be a one-eared cat.

So, here are my new actor friends that I just made.  In alphabetical order (as per their contracts):

Above is Bobby Blobby.  He's sort of your overly-serious, slightly schlubby but chameleon-like actor.  Basically, he's Knitted Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Introducing, Freddy Fingers.  He's kind of ugly and weird, but also sexyish? and non-threatening, and definitely a character actor and not a leading spider.  He's knitted Peter Lorre, or Willem Dafoe, or Steve Buscemi.  

And our leading lady, Paco.  She's beautiful, in an unconventional sort of way, and exotic, her accent is thick and her features are slightly asymmetrical, but she as a certain.....je ne sais quoi.  She's knitted Audrey Tatou or Marion Cotillard.

Here's the cast publicity shot.  Bobby's got a well-documented drinking problem, even though his PR guy says it was a bout with exhaustion, either way, that should account for his rough appearance.

If these fuckers hit it big, I'll be expecting my ten percent.

A Hat For A Baby Skull (And A Crystal Skull)

I have been with my husbot for almost 11 years now.  What the WHAT??  That's what I think every time I realize it's been that long.  He's the best - the BEST of the BEST, the best AROUND - and I'm grateful to have such a kick-ass loverpot of a best friend and man friend.

But.

You know, 11 years is a long time.  These days, I derive great pleasure from living vicariously as various friends find a spark and fall in love.  And when the person they find is also hip and groovy, it's even better.

So, my very good longtime friend - who in fact performed our wedding ceremony - has fallen in love.  Hooray for him!  And his lady friend is a smart and groovy lady.  So, hooray for me, too!  I can always use more grooviness in my life.

Anyway, slowly segueing into the subject of this particular blog entry, this particular groovy lady - my new friend Gianine! - asked me to knit up some fun for a friend's soon-to-be baby.

Well, chilly weather is swift approaching, so what does a brand-new lady baby need?  How's about a fuzzy pink deerstalker?  Yes.  That's exactly what a lady baby needs.  Modeled below by my crystal skull. 

Sidenote about the skull:  So a couple of years ago, remember when Damien Hirst caused a stir in the press for covering a human skull with diamonds with an asking price of $100 million?  Well, it both fascinated and infuriated me, so I decided to make one myself.  One trip to the craft store for a Halloween styrofoam skull and $50 worth of plastic crystals later, I succeeded.  Mine's 10,000% cheaper and has a gold tooth.  So there.

Anyway, back to the hat.  That damn hat was so cute, I wanted to eat it.  The only thing that would make it better is a pair of matching boots.   So, I had no choice but to make those, too.

Husby gives the whole thing a big thumb's up.

This ensemble has been shipped off to Gianine (minus Crystal Skull, sorry, Gianine), but not before I spent about an hour dancing the boots around under the skull and singing the "Invisible Baby With A Crystal Skull" theme song.

.....What?

Mercury-Free Sushi

Despite my small town, Republican, God-fearing, beef-eating, conservative Midwestern upbringing, I knew from an early age that I was - in fact - none of those things myself.

Besides turning into a lefty, commie pinko,  and a raging feminist with a healthy skepticism of the big business of religion and an ally for gay rights, here's the final insult to my Kansas pedigree:

I effing love sushi.  I cannot get enough of it. 

              

Additionally, sushi is one of my favorite things to knit.  It's beautiful and simple and instantly recognizable.

This is a tuna sushi/sashimi set that I did for my lovely friend Heather to give as a get well gift to one of her friends.

Above is the way I packaged it for shipping.  It's a little hard to see through the plastic lid, but I added a couple of pieces of pickled ginger and a dollop of green wasabi on the side.

I'm getting hungry now.

Knits For Naps

I got a message from a childhood friend the other day asking if I would make a cover for her kindergartener's nap mat.  Now, as long as I have enough information, I'll knit anything I can figure out how to knit.  I'm knit-fearless. 

But, I'm a childless woman (cue: sad violins) and while I can imagine or perhaps even recollect what a "nap mat" is, I actually had never heard of a cover for a nap mat.  However, with a little sizing info from my friend on the particular mat that her son uses, we decided to do a sort of duvet cover style sleeve for the mat.

She hoped for something super-snuggly and therefore nap-inducing.  My favorite snuggly yarn is the lumpy-bumpy homespun variety.  And after a quick trip to my local Michaels, with the babe's favorite colors committed to memory, I was able to whip up this little number.

Not bad considering it's the first one that I have ever made, huh?

So, it got shipped off to its new home in Oklahoma, and upon it's arrival, this happened:

And my friend told me that her older son declared that he wished he was back in kindergarten so that he could have one to nap on.  How's that for a ringing endorsement?

And in closing, I'll leave you with this photo of Nappy the Naptime Nap Mat Cover cuddling up with his new little man.  They make a cute couple, don't they?

Knitting for Little Heads

Jeezy Chreezy.  I feel like a bad blogger.  I should be posting more.  I'm trying, I'm trying.

Here's the thing(s):  I went on vacation, got really sick, had a really heartbreaking friendship breakup, and then struggled for a little bit to climb out of the K-hole that the aforementioned things left me in.

Any Swayze, I'm back!  I'm knitting!  I'm blogging!  Hooray!

I've got a metric crap-ton of commissions that I'm working on right now - as well as a few special freebies that I am cramming into the mix, so rest assured, my fingers are busy....even if I'm not busy blogging about how busy I am.  

Por ejemplo - Below is my sweet-faced friend Eleanor.  I mean...just look at her.  What a little beauty.  And, for the record, the smartest 8 year old I've ever met.  Her favorite color used to be purple, but when she told me that it's now green, I couldn't resist knitting her a little brain warmer for the upcoming chillier months.

Okay, that's all I got for now.  I'll be back soon, though.  I promise this time.

Knitting For A Rock Star, Part 2

Remember yesterday when I  blogged about making some hats for the lovely rock and roll icon Jane Wiedlin?

Well, feast your eyes on Jane's lovely pixie head in very close proximity to my knits.

Seriously.  This woman.  I cannot get enough of her.

I want to bite her sweet little face.

Lots of love to Jane for sending me these super adorbsy photos.